Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Musings on the inner critic

I was watching Mirror Mask while eating my lunch today. I love that movie for its sheer exuberance. The richness of drawings and texture can be overwhelming, but in a good way.

I find that I am often drawn to works of art that are an expression of liveliness and freedom. I love the work that appears beautifully unconcerned with correctness in the pursuit of an expression of feeling that surpasses the boundaries of the human mind/soul. It is passionate freedom that attains beauty that can be felt deep within the body. It is beauty that goes beyond verbal means of expression. It is a work of art that you can feel working deep within your body and it makes you remember that you are alive. It is a magic that I am always groping and searching for but rarely manage to find.

My inner critic often manages to keep me in check. I find myself envying the freedom of others. We wrestle constantly, my inner critic and I. She is very vocal and cruel. She points out all of the reasons why an idea won't work. She finds one hundred possible avenues for failure before I have managed to put more than one line on a page. She lists all of the things that I need to get done and then mocks me for feeling overwhelmed. She is my worst enemy and, unfortunately, she is becoming me.

I am going to get a mental rope and some duct tape... before she wins.

1 comment:

  1. Get that rope!

    This is the struggle that we all confront when trying to create. Sadly more often than not my inner critic wins, usually with a well-timed, "Oh you stole that idea from such-and-such a place." Fuck that. There is this great line in the first episode of "Slings and Arrows" about something great happening right before the rope breaks. I need to get to the point where my rope is about to break so I can overcome all the crap in my head and just do.